Dirtbag ethan frome
KARL MARX: nothing HENRIETTA MARX: have you cleaned your room yet KARL MARX: it is the resident of the room who should determine when and with what methods the room should be cleaned HENRIETTA MARX: just make sure it’s clean before you go out KARL MARX: ugh fine i hope you end up like industrial capitalism and destroy yourself HENRIETTA MARX: what was that?KARL MARX: i hope you end up like industrial capitalism and are fine ] TEACHER: you’re late KARL MARX: yeah sorry TEACHER: go to the office for a tardy pass KARL MARX: but i’m already here if i go to the office i’ll be even later and miss out on all the learning TEACHER: go to the office, Karl KARL MARX:  this is the real class struggle HENRIETTA MARX: where do you think you’re going KARL MARX: to my room to write more poems for Jenny von Westphalen HENRIETTA MARX: well while you’re up there you might as well clean the room if you’re going to be doing poems in it KARL MARX: i’ll do it LATER HENRIETTA MARX: i left the cleaning supplies outside your door you’ll do it now KARL MARX: wow mom it’s the MEANS of production not the CRUELS of production HENRIETTA MARX: either you clean your room or i’ll do it for you and the way i clean your room means you won’t have any bags of marijuana left in it when i’m finished KARL MARX: WHY DON’T YOU MAKE LIKE THE RULING CLASS IN THE WAKE OF POPULAR UPRISINGS AND HENRIETTA MARX: Karl would you like to explain why i found this in your bag this morning?
ZENOBIA: where is the pickle dish ETHAN FROME: its right here MATTIE: i’m afraid i broke it i’m so sorry ZENOBIA: thank you for being honest with me it was an honest mistake ETHAN FROME: let’s put the pickles in another dish and we can call that dish the pickle dish MATTIE: what a great idea ZENOBIA: pickles for everybody The main conflict of the story is how much Ethan Frome loves to go sledding. The ultimate struggle is between Ethan and society, because society doesn’t want him to go sledding as much as he does, but he does it anyways. “Ethan Frome,” they call out as he sleds by, “in a land this austere, surrounded by people this stoical whose snowy hearts match this frozen landscape, is it right to sled this much? ETHAN FROME: i want to go sledding who will go sledding with me ZENOBIA: i don’t feel very good i cant go sledding MATTIE: i will go sledding ZENOBIA: what a perfect solution to all of our problems ETHAN FROME AND MATTIE [ is a novel of contrasts.
GERTRUDE: Hamlet I invited some of your friends over HAMLET: [smoking] theyre not my friends i wish i were dead GHOST: hamlet you must avenge my death HAMLET: i dont have to do anything youre not even my real dad GHOST: yes i am HAMLET: whatever GHOST: have you killed Claudius yet HAMLET: no GHOST: why HAMLET: fuck you is why im going to the cemetery to touch skulls OPHELIA: My lord, I– HAMLET ollies over OPHELIA’s head HAMLET [offstage]: we were never dating GERTRUDE walks down the hallway. HAMLET: SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (HAMLET skates backwards) UUUUUUTT LAERTES: Ophelia is dead HAMLET: damn LAERTES: she drowned herself HAMLET: thats metal i knew she was cool (HAMLET is dying) HAMLET: Horatio come here (he does) HAMLET: Closer (he does) (HAMLET draws a dick on his face) HAMLET: ahaha (He dies) Images by Matt Lubchansky, who makes comics and occasionally leaves his apartment in New York.
His work includes Please Listen to Me and New Amsterdam Mystery Company.
How much Ethan Frome loves to go sledding is contrasted with all the times that he can’t go sledding, or has to wait a little while to finish work before he can go sledding later.
ZENOBIA: I would like to discuss the possibility of hiring another housekeeper if Mattie ever gets married as you know I’m chronically ill and the doctor insists I have a live-in carer to help treat my condition ETHAN FROME: jesus when did u get so cold ZENOBIA: it’s just that as we have both acknowledged Mattie is in fact a very bad housekeeper and it’s quite painful for me to watch you do things for her you long ago ceased to do for me ETHAN FROME: wow so just because i leave u alone in bed all day but shave and get dressed up to impress your maid u think that justifies your objecting to me going to interrupt her date right now??